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[30 Sep 2004|01:49pm] |
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I think we just need to realize the love is dead and has been dead; lets move on.
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| random |
[28 Sep 2004|02:11pm] |
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Running out of subject titles. Oh Well. Robert's birthday is tomorrow and Katherine's birthday is on friday. I got her a kick assssss shirt from offline. It's baby blue and it says "i want to kick ass so bad" and then it has a pocket knife. Hopefully she wont read this. Anywho... I'm going home this weekend but i wont be there for long. My parents better give me my damn new phone... not having a phone is getting fucking rediculous and i think cathy is getting annoyed when i use her phone. anywho, i'm going to bed. LOOOOOOOOOVE me!
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| "i smell sex and CANDY!" |
[23 Sep 2004|01:07am] |
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Gah... i confronted him, he said no but he still wouldnt tell me what him and quinn were going to do that night. Anways, i'm over it now unless i actually find proof. GAH i'm soooo hungry i want to eat the world. So i've got my college selection to 5 colleges... Maryland Institute College of Art, Rhode Islande College of Design, Savannah College of Art and Design, Ringling School of Design, and Winthrop. Actually i might do one more Tyler school of art in some University in Philly. I like doing college stuff, it kind of gives me a sense of control over my life.
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| hmm, work done before 1 am |
[21 Sep 2004|11:47pm] |
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I just got done with my 3rd self-portraits. We do that a lot this year. I've made 3 good/big portrait drawings and 3 portrait paintings. I feel so vien and my ovary itches. I think i'm going to bed early today (knock on wood). I miss talking to robert and seeing him. I think he's doing coke, i'm going to dump him if he is. Actually i think I'm going to confront him the next time I talk to him. GAH. night
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| so... being pregnant with lukeimia is bad... right? |
[21 Sep 2004|12:08am] |
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I've been eatin' a lot lately. I have discovered that food gives me comfort. Oh and that my hair is falling out. I am lonely. I think that I crave attention and because i'm not getting it... i have turned to food. *sigh* i want to go to sleep but i need to study and do some other shit. I really REALLY want some korean food, i can smell it now in my mind. I was going to call my house at 11 to tell my mom to send me some. Can you send rice and soup through the mail? Dizamn. Katherine fergie a great friend. It seems that we've been "bonding" a lot lately. haha... gots to get away from the suite!!! haha just kidding. Anyway we're going to a greenville high school football game this friday and i have ACT's on saturday. Robert's birthday is net wednesday but we're celebrating it october 2nd when i come home. I already bought him 3 playstation games (madden 2004, grand turismo 3, and FFX) but i "secretly" bought him this really kick ass bob marley shirt. All we needs now is a cake and 20 candles!!! wooohooo! God. I'm so lonely.
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| erg |
[24 Aug 2004|08:35pm] |
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oh yes, school has gotten old real quick. I'm tired, hungry, and just don't really give a fuck. There's too much drama. God, I forgot how much drama is here and how draining it is. I took my Calculus test today... hopefully a C or up. I have an Art History test tomorrow and a Spanish quiz on Friday. Plus i had AP Lit seminar today 4:30-6 and Thursday I have Humanities from that time. Geeze. Atleast I got all my studio out of the way earlier. My ring in metals is coming out alright but i havent even started on my landscape painting. *sigh* I'm in one of those moods... where i don't care but then I do and I just need to take a break or something. so, my plan is to take a nap. NIGHT
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| wooohaaaaa |
[18 Aug 2004|11:15pm] |
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school... is school and i'm coming home this friday... very excited. I'm such a horn dog. XD i need some lovin'. Um.. some updates: made a 78 on spanish quiz, i think i aced my calculus quiz, art history is fun, thompson is cool, think my painting teacher hates me, making a purty ring in metals... hopefully i'll be done tomorrow, and DUN DUNANA!!! I'm officially hot sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| i think i have a head cold.... *sniffle* |
[11 Aug 2004|05:29pm] |
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i just came back from my summer reading group meeting. gilliam was the discussion dude and he "put me on the spot." some people just talk to much. gilliam is great. woot woot. i think i'm hungry... i want to eat damnit. anywho i feel very weird today. i drank coffee this morning and i was all hyped up but now my body is just really tired and kind of shaky. scurry.
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| cammy is the whore of the Governor's school... |
[09 Aug 2004|11:20am] |
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lol jk, she just said that. well i'm back again... with my room to myself once again. i miss erin. it's only the 1st day of school and i'm already procrastinating. i have till wednesday to read my summer reading book (150 pages!!!). i can do it. i've been hanging out with my suites cathy and cammy; i love them a lot. I miss robert... and my friends.. emily, meisha... mr. t. for anyone who knows. >.< well i gots art history now. woot. ps our painting teacher is really hott!!! woot
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| 3 more days... dun dun dun |
[05 Aug 2004|07:09pm] |
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i'm going to miss everyone... but i think it's time to go back to school. learn something. make some art. YUM YUM
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| and then today... |
[26 Jul 2004|08:54pm] |
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as if nothing happened but i know and i wont let it go.
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| until it kills me? |
[26 Jul 2004|01:00am] |
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If anyone reads this entry... i really dont want a comment. I think with all my heart and my body and my mind that i've lost my first love. I have no idea who he is anymore. All i can see right now, me sitting here crying again, is a cold hearted boy that won't stop until it's physically impossible to hurt me anymore. I came very close today... closer than any other times and it scares me. I know what I should do and how I don't deserve it, and i can't keep hurting myself like this. Love is such a stupid figment of my imagination. Someone can tell you that they love you a million times but if they themselves do not know what it means... then it means nothing. How many times do i have to hear it? The sentence that spits out of your mouth just because there's an akward pause or we have nothing better to say to each other. I don't know what love is or means because this can't be love or is it? Does love make you cry every other night? Does it make you want to never wake up because the feeling just hurts to much? This can't be what every teenage girl wants. It's ridiculous. I want to hit something and stab something, i want to hurt something. *sigh* i want to be able to write pretty poems on how sad i am... but i'm not capable of it. It's already starting. The excuse of using Governor School to runaway from my problems. During the good times i dread it but during the bad times i wish to be in my dorm lying in my little bed blocking everyone from my mind. I'm probably going to just start rambling now because I'm trying everything i can to NOT call him. I dont see why i would... nothing i say will matter or be taken seriously. i need to listen to some music so i wont be alone with my own mind. It's as if i'm talking out loud in an empty room. well i'm gone.
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| lodi dodi dee... lodi dodi da |
[19 Jul 2004|08:46pm] |
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aww... Robert drove up with me to get krysten, then drove half way back.../ stoped on the side of the freeway to look for shrooms in a cow pasture. he's so sweet i love him. I'm glad Krys-cross is here! today we went to dairy queen, swimming, visited emma... more swimming and now we're about to see anchorman. YAY!
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| i have 1/2 pink hair now... |
[16 Jul 2004|03:56pm] |
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and it's permanent! I did it last night with the help of jessica and allyson. Oh yeah, i'm in Jax, FL right now visiting jess. It's been lots of fun so far. We went to the mall, bought clothes, went to the beach, church... and today we're suppose to go to the mall and beach all over again! Well right now she's at a job interview for UPS. We also have been watching a lot of scary movies... Session 9 (good/scary), Carie (good/scary-wierd), and Wicker Man (Weird/Waste of a movie). Robert's forgotten about me 3 days in a row... where he said he'd call me but he didn't. It just sucks when you think of someone 24/7 and he can't even call you back. Gah.. I'm tired of being treated like shit and always doing stuff for him and calling him. whateva... im just going to forget about him now.
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| she's still a bitch! |
[10 Jul 2004|01:44am] |
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gah.. so i flipped out again today because she still keeps calling him. I left a message on her phone last night and it was like "hey this is melissa... you know robert's GIRLFRIEND; you need to stop calling... because no one cares." So this morning she calls twice still probably to tell robert not to let me call her number. so i called her back on my cell and we got into it. Basically i called her a slut and she said atleast i dont go back to someone who cheats on me. and i said "shut the fuck up. you jumped at the slightest moment to get back with him SLUT. SO dont fucking call." then i flipped out on robert for still talking to her. he just doesnt understand how much i hate this girl. he doesnt understand how badly i've been hurt BECAUSE of her. or maybe he does but doesnt care. any who MICHELL STERLING is a SLUT... technically so is robert but im going to hate on her. we were discussing how desperate she was and i told robert that if he asked me to marry him right now i'd say no but i told him i bet if he dated her for 1 month starting now and ask she'd say yes. but he said he'd only have to date her one day and she'd say yes. maybe he's being cocky... but i seriously think she's stupid enough to do it. any way, I'm going to change the subject now b/c she doesnt deserve a whole entry. I talked to sarah R. yesterday and i was suppose to call her back !!!! :( bad me. I will call her tomorrow and see if she can meet me somewhere b/c i dont think i can handle going downtown again. Oh so i almost died yesterday like 10 times lol! me and meisha went downtown for some undercover stuff and downtown is just crazy. (plus i cant drive all that well). I swear this girl was about to run out into the road and i was watching her to make sure she didnt. but at the last moment she stepped out into the road and i had to swerve to not hit her... than i look forward and the car in front of me is at a complete stop. I was sooo close to it i didnt have time to stop, so i had to go in the next lane real quick-like. good thing no one was in the other lane. then when we finally found the place we wanted to get at (took us an hour to find it b/c we took EVERY wrong turn you could possibly take) but when we got there we were too late. :( I miss my govies... GOVIES COME BACK TO ME!!! I've been having an assload of dreams lately about EVERYTHING that i've been thinking the previous day. like last night i drempt that #1. robert's grandma never called and he was getting worried. #2. I was yelling at robert and accusing him of getting a ride from her to KFC #3. robert cheated on me. #4. then that me and him were fighting and we broke up. #5. i called cammy to say hey... and something bad happend... cant really remember... like she broke up with quinn or her dad died... something like that. #5. chucky was after me and this zombie controlled it and it turned out to be robert but at the end we fell in love. Yep... all this in one night. but that chucky one was really scary. when i woke up i didnt know if i was awake yet so i was afraid someone was going to pop up somewhere..... WELL this is super long... so im leaving ADIOS
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| It's so hot in this bitch! |
[05 Jul 2004|11:36pm] |
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it's so hott. i finally got my computer working and the internet to work! so hells yeah. i'm still bored though. today was kinda crazy... i have an interview tomorrow at 3 at the COOKIE PLACE. oh geeze, this should be interesting. well about today, i took robert and D application shopping and grocery shopping. i also gave my boy an $80 loan... because i'm just a caring and loving girlfriend like that. Oh by the way, i've decided that when we break up for real i'm going to rob his ass. tee hee i'm so bad. well i'm burning the hell up and i'm going to go spickletoodiddler some more.
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| Blah... the mountains suck big fat bears. |
[27 Jun 2004|09:01pm] |
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i didnt see a damn bear and i was bored out of my freakin mind. all we did was hike and go on a picnic, out of the 3 nights we were there. my cousin and i got drunk one night and ended up watching comedy central all night... that was probably the highlight of my time there. and... robert's blowing me off every 10 minutes, so i think i'm just going to be a bitch and not come over for 2 days. i have to work in lexington anyways. gah... im so fustrated right now; i want to be a bitch and i want to beat someone up... and yell at robert... b/c that's what i do. anways... i've been watching the surreal life for 3 HOURS!!! ... it's addicting watching trischell hit on vanilla ice and what not. i'm watching it RIGHT NOW! erg, leaving now.
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| "you got to fight... for your right... to PARTY" |
[22 Jun 2004|12:30am] |
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Let's see... what did i do today. i went shopping with my sister and madre, dropped melody off some place, watched "along came polly" with Mary and Hassan, watched "Salem's Lot," and now on the computer. Fun-filled i must say. I bought a new swimsuit, shoes, undies, and a skirt... oh my aren't i just a spoiled girl. >.< MUAHAHHAAHAHAHA... i think i'm going to call atlanta bread company tomorrow morning...and ask about that job that i don't have and when they tell me that i'm not hired... i will tell them "it's okay i've resorted to communism anyways." and hang up. ;)
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